I often scan the Craigslist classifieds to pick up odd jobs, gigs, free stuff and, naturally, for sheer entertainment value. I inevitably stumble upon some real gems that make me wonder why I'm so poor when I could so clearly use my intellect to swindle the less endowed. I must be a really nice person.
Some of my favorite Craigslist fodder and news headlines accompanied by my own comments in red:
"In sarch for writers"
(and Grammarians and with the spellchekcers)
"needs computer genious to check computers thouroughly"
Perhaps using a computer should come below Hooked on Phonics on your priority list.
"Fictional Writer Wanted"
Looking for fictional writer with an MFA or finishing an MFAto revise/re-write novel. [...] Please only serious fictional writers with credentials respond. Imaginary friends, superheroes and the tooth fairy kindly refrain from responding - I'm looking for fictional writers.
"Radical Iraqi Cleric's Clout Waning as Iraq Elections Loom"
"Betty Botter bought some butter but she said "This butter's bitter! But a bit of better butter will make my bitter butter better!"
"Rehoming! My baby monkey" As it turned out, the phrase 'rehoming my baby monkey' was not euphemism for sex. She did, indeed, need a new home for an actual baby monkey.
Meet Jinx,
I really don't wanna give her up, she's like a daughter to me.
she's 3months old, and i'm moving and they will not let me bring her into my new home. they have something against her, and i cant see why!? Me either! Is your new home the nut house by any chance?
My brother would take her for me, but i've been staying with my parents, and apperantly my brother is in College..Witch will not be allowed in a dorm!. Um...
I'll give her too a good home only!. she's not hard to take care of, she loves milk in a bottle, and she holds it her self.. she only eats banana's before bed, and after a nap!. her bed time is at 10pm, and she'll wake up every day around 9am.. She does wear dippers (dippers...dippers... OH! Are those the inflatable arm thingies children wear when learning how to swim?), she gives you a sign when she needs a change.. If your interested for more info please call!, & if you'd like more pictures please call or email me..
[phone number removed]
